The Footnotes Issue

short lists and long explanations

a note: the format this week is kind of wonky, it’ll be easiest to read on desktop or within the substack app :)

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What are you thinking about today¹? It’s the holiday season, I need to organize my brain². Whenever I do that, I usually make a list:

live shot of the inside of my brain

A list about the holiday season:

Birthday/Xmas list to share with my mom³

• New Books!⁴

• A new Yeti cause I left mine on a boat⁵ :(

• A class/subscription that would be a lot to pay for by myself, but is a great gift to get from my mom⁶

• Perfume⁷

• Dutch Blitz⁸

A list about food:

The current contents of my fridge⁹

real photo of my fridge

• Trader Joe’s Vegan Pesto¹⁰

• Half n half¹¹

• Assorted leftovers

• Chicken Broth

• Half a loaf of bread¹²

• Pasta sauce

• Famous Dave’s Sweet n’ Spicy Pickle Chips¹³

• 1 lb of butter¹⁴

• Half a slice of pepper jack cheese¹⁵

• Homemade Triple Berry jam

• Homemade Dilly Beans¹⁶

• Two Miller High Life’s¹⁷

• Salami

• a block of parmesan cheese

• Other assorted beers

• Three different kinds of mustard

• 2 Apples¹⁸

Things I thought while watching TV¹⁹ last night

• It’s funnier if he says turtles²⁰ ²¹

• Bring back long TV seasons!²²

• Is One Tree Hill the most perfect everyman show?²³

A list inspired by the list above:

Episodes of Supernatural they should make when they bring it back²⁴:

• Sam and Dean crash a wedding²⁵

• Sam and Dean join the FBI for real

• Dean turns forty and is Not Cool about it

• Sam and Dean experience emotional maturity

Cups of Tea I drank while writing this newsletter²⁶:

1. one

2. two

3. three

Texts I was sent this week:

• “send this to deckhands you trust”²⁷

• “Just saw a guy in the jacket Carmy always wears. There are Jeremy Allen Whites everywhere for those with eyes to see²⁸”

• “Danneel Ackles was on season 3,4, and parts of 5-7 of one tree hill just so you know”²⁹

Two Youtube videos with lines in them I can’t stop thinking about

• Dan Aykroyd saying “I’m just glad that a young actor’s got work” when asked about Dylan O’Brien playing him³⁰

• Sam Campbell running wild with the chance to ask Greg Davies a question, on Taskmaster³¹. Sam Campbell was noticeably funny on a show where everyones funny. Must be seen by the comedy freaks and weirdos the video is cued to the right moment

Three Things I ask Myself before contributing to any conversation:

1. is it necessary

2. is it kind

3. is it helpful

An inventory of all my fabulous jackets:

only one of these jackets does not belong to me. the craziest thing about me is I look at this pic and go…that is not enough

From right to left:

• Tan Nike long winter puffer

• Two black long puffer coats³²

  • One Eddie Bauer, one from a Canadian Company rated 30 below

• One short black winter puffer coat, from Costco³³

• A short green puffer coat³⁴

• Berne Apparel workwear jacket³⁵

• Four leather jackets (and one pleather)

  • Notre Dame³⁶ short leather jacket, thrifted³⁷

  • NASCAR³⁸ lettered leather jacket, thrifted³⁹

  • Heavy Biker leather jacket, thrifted⁴⁰

  • Beautiful perfect, lightweight short red leather jacket, gifted⁴¹

  • Long black pleather duster⁴²

• Three jean jackets:

  • Classic jean jacket, thrifted⁴³

  • Levi’s sherpa Jean Jacket, dark blue

  • Cool as shit racer jean jacket I got off a girl on Instagram

• Three rain coats:

  • Plaid from Eddie Bauer⁴⁴, DePaul University pullover⁴⁵, Red from Eddie Bauer⁴⁶

• Army coat, hand me down from my dad⁴⁷

• Pendleton brand Pea Coat

• Long stripy band leader looking thing, thrifted⁴⁸

• My most excellent Tweed⁴⁹

• Everyman’s nice white fall jacket, Costco

• Levi’s red plaid jacket, mens.

• Anthropology quilted jacket

• Suede blazer, thrifted⁵⁰

• American Eagle shawl, from high school

• Two red puffer vests

  • one used for my Marty McFly Costume, one from Land’s End, thrifted⁵¹

And finally:

Bad haircuts that have ruined otherwise decent movies:

• Meg Ryan in Kate & Leopold

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I’m taking off next week as I’ll be on a twelve hour car trip to New York State⁵² for Thanksgiving. Enjoy the holiday to those celebrating! See you next time⁵³!

1. I’m thinking about the one year anniversary of when they closed Berlin—plan your mourning accordingly! I told myself one year ago today that I could leave Chicago—cause what was left for me without Berlin! Lo and behold, I’m still here. There’s always life after the disco.

2. trying to “organize my brain” could also known as undiagnosed ADHD

3. My birthday falls two weeks before Christmas…the birthday adjacent to Christmas struggle is real. It does in fact make your birthday feel less special

4. The book I asked for is Women’s Hotel by Daniel M. Lavery because I’ve heard great things and Lavery’s author photo must be seen to be believed. Author photos should be indicative of their authors actually,

5. I asked for this Yeti cause I like the color and I think the handle is fun

6. If you want to know what class I asked my mom to help me pay for—too bad! I am too embarrassed to admit what it is!

7. I’ve always loved the idea of having a signature scent, but I’ve always struggled with finding one that really spoke to me. Someone left a Chanel perfume sample on one of the boats and I’ve started wearing it cause it was free. Now I’m obsessed. The way it makes me feel! Sexy! Effortless! Confident! Hubba hubba! But perfume is expensive! I’ve been trying to ID the scent so I can ask for it for Christmas. Anyone good at IDing perfumes? It smells…good? Kind of…sexy? Does that help?

8. The best card game of all time. I said it.

9. I’m trying a new challenge this week: see if I can survive off what just I have in the fridge so I don’t have to go shopping before Thanksgiving. Is this genius or just stubborn? Whose to say

10. For the record: I’m not vegan, but I loooove that vegan kale pesto. Mh. Delicious.

11. If I have no half n half in my fridge…my fridge is empty. There are three things you will always find in my kitchen: coffee, sugar and half n half. Yes I am a coffee fiend, a snob, a die hard believer in the saving powers of coffee: but I won’t drink it unless it’s also three creams/three sugars. People say I’m crazy for this…I say let me make you a cup of coffee.

12. Multigrain, for the record

13. These are God-tier pickles my friends, a must try for us pickle loving freaks

14. I said what I said

15. What—like I’m just gonna throw it away???

16. Dilly Beans are Pickled Green Beans if you even care

17. the Champagne of beers!

18. I know the picture of my fridge does not include everything on the list, but I remind you—fridges have many drawers/compartments etc. I just have stuff in other fridge spaces then just the shelf

19. I really am trying to talk less about Supernatural in these newsletters

20. Me fixing a joke from an episode of Supernatural that aired fifteen years ago:

“It’s funnier if the joke ends with Dean saying ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’, instead of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Angels’. Angels is more clever but it’s not funnier. Right? Hello?”

21. I’m failing miserably.

22. I miss 23 episode TV seasons! The first season of The OC has 27 episodes lest we forget! It’s criminal that the current TV model makes us wait 3 years for 8 episodes. It is not worth the effort! Can’t you throw us a bone? Give at least 10? What about 15? Why not add five more? 20? Just 20???

23. I was at a Friendsgiving Sunday and whenever there was a lull in conversation I would mention One Tree Hill and the whole table with erupt with “oh I love that show!” “What a great show!”

24. There is so very little the show didn’t do—see “The French Mistake” or you know, “Scoobynatural”—and yet! There were still so many places they could have gone. There was so much story telling gas in that tank. My worst take on Supernatural is that I think it should still be on.

25. Idea inspired by the episode “Season 7, Time for a Wedding!” which is a great title but a terrible episode. They could have had so much more fun with the wedding concept

26. See above: I’m such a coffee girl—I’m like Lorelai Gilmore but less annoying—but I’ve only been drinking tea with honey this past week. I’m getting sick and its better for my throat or whatever. But ugh, I feel like such a traitor. I can’t let my percolator see me use my electric kettle, I don’t want to create beef on the kitchen counter.

27. Text from one of my coworkers, receiving the words ‘deckhands you trust’ on my phone made me giggle. It amuses me.

28. Text from one of my roommates about the Jeremy Allen White lookalike contest that took place in our neighborhood this week.

29. An edit from my sister about last weeks newsletter. Lest we forget Danneel and Jensen started on the CW (then the WB) the same year!

30. Whenever I’m watching something and I find myself overly critiquing an actors performance I’ve started hearing this in my head, “at least an actors got work.” Listen, pissed off by someone’s performance in a movie or TV show? Wish to God they had picked someone better to be on stage? Don’t get worked up! At least that young actor got work!

31. Taskmaster is so goddamn funny. Sometimes I wish I was British just so I could have the chance to go on it. Or I wish they could make a version of it in the US that didn't totally suck.

32. I won’t hear any shit about my number of puffer coats, I live in Chicago

33. Costco has quality! Hot Dogs are $1.50! Pizzas are 9 bucks! It’s a dream world!

34. Reappropriated from a former roommate

35. It’s my farm jacket—as everyone has to have a farm jacket—it has the name of my families farm embroidered over the right chest :) if you have a heart

36. No I am NOT a fan of the University of Notre Dame! This happened to be such a cool jacket at a very good price point…

37. Bought from a street sale in Wicker Park

38. Very trendy in a way I’m worried might be almost out…but a Very Cool jacket regardless.

39. Bought from a charity shop in McHenry

40. Mt. Sinai in Lakeview baby!

41. From my friend who thrifted it in Italy but couldn’t fit it in her bag for the plane home so gave it to me. Love to that queen foreeevverrrr for that one

42. Bought new from Bershka! Tough!

43. Village Discount in Roscoe Village. Forever my girl

44. Bought on discount at an outlet mall—I over payed.

45. Bought because I was desperate

46. Thrifted! Village Discount! Roscoe Village!

47. My dad bought it in the 90s from that massive Army Surplus store on Lincoln which I did not know was called Army Navy Sales until I looked it while researching for this newsletter. Wild!

48. Village Discount…wanna guess what neighborhood?

49. Pretentious to say but thrifted from Cream in Budapest. Cream is I think British thrift chain? I’m pretty sure the jackets meant to be a blazer but I always just wear it as a coat. I love her so much.

50. Thrifted in high school and I’ve never worn it, why do I still have it in my closet? Your guess is as good as mine!

51. Guess where?

52. It is very important to me to differentiate New York City from New York State. They are vastly different places and I feel like not enough people are talking about this.

53. You didn’t really think I would end it with Meg Ryan’s bad haircut, did you?